Sunday, December 18, 2011

Dear JTB...

Where are you, my soul?
Hiding behind the walls of silence, you've lost your voice and now your spirit trembles in the cold nights.
You're gone. You're not here anymore. And I don't know when and where I lost you. I lost you in between the speaking breaks and now I'm looking for you, but you're gone...
That song...those songs that warmed the long nights...do you listen to them? Sometimes they pop up in my mind, making me wonder if creating you was not one big mistake. And then again I fight with myself. You were my alter ego in a wold where schizophrenia is being looked down on. I've spilt my soul in two and made you from zero, 'gave birth' to a different me...and that's you...or it was you?...
It feels so bad to be incapable to bring you out from wherever you are right now. I know that for some days, months I totally forgot about you, but now I start to feel the emptyness you've left behind. Can't you came back to me and transform today in yesterday?
You trouble maker...
You left my soul alone in the coldest dark and went hidding?
You bad, bad person........................


I shall curse the place that keeps you away from me. 'Coz the metal box can not recreate you, can not bring you from the Neverland. I shall never ever say your name again. I shall believe that the normality that disturbs my quiet life is just another color left by you behind.


I shall turn you into a novel character and keep you captive between it's pages. I'll never let you escape from the white cage made of written paper...


Won't you come back?
Tell me, JTB...don't you miss the smell that the late nights brought?


Moon Kat